When people say things that hurt my feelings, I never respond appropriately, if there is even an appropriate response.
My mother said things that made me feel very bad yesterday, that hurt my feelings very much. And I got mad and she knew, but then again - she didn't know.
She didn't know that it takes the smallest bit of confidence in myself that I've struggled to build and it crumples that. She didn't know that all those dangerous fears and old anxieties that lead me to bad places - boom - she throws me right back into those.
At least she did. I could not get motivated yesterday and I'm struggling today. Thoughts of - you aren't good enough, get a better job with health insurance, get married so somebody will take care of your ass - the things she SAID keep running through my mind.
But no. I can't let myself do this. I felt sad about it. It hurts not to have their support.
I am looking in the mirror today - I need nobody's blessing.
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