I hoped that in this physical and life detox that in the quiet that came out of it, my thoughts would begin to line up again, and I'd start making some forward progress.
This just happened!
I am meditating on a new story. The title came to me the other night, when I was sleeping in a room that was once Jack Kerouac's. To write that sounds somewhat strange, but it is true. I was lucky enough to be invited to do this and the memories of the night will stay with me.
This new story is very pivotal to my new work. And this work is so vastly complex that to manage it, sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. I break it into pieces for the time being. For this story, which is a nice departure from some of what I've lately written, this story explores something beautiful that happens between two people. It ties into the idea of the periodic table - which elements might bond with others, and the building blocks for everything lined up into rows. It also deals with the chemistry of a favorite drink. I am trying now to understand the process of the story, the way it needs to move, and how best to tell what needs to be told about these two people. It is fun to brainstorm this out.
But I just had a moment where I felt like I was able to explain something about all the body of my work - taking for instance the stance of The Scientist and putting it in conflict with The Poet and as they endeavor to explain everything and nothing, what comes next?
There are so many things that I wonder about, and sometimes I feel like I stare into the very center of all things, and nothing. This is a strange, wonderful thing. In the center of all of this - life is different than I'd imagined and I am glad to know it. My work right now is deliberate and I understand a good deal about it, but at best, I stand and hold strings and I know instinctively the strings connect to helium balloons, but the specifics of the balloons I don't yet know. And I'm glad not to know.
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