The first days of any detox are hard. I've been drinking and eating sugar and unhealthy food for a few months, hence the physical part of the detox. My body is trying hard to adjust. The first two days I was very down. Without coffee and energy drinks, I actually felt depressed. It was like the sparkle in life was gone. Wednesday was better, and yesterday better still. I didn't find myself so down, and so dragged out. The sugar cravings are still there for sure! I looked at a recipe for quiona/coconut/agave rice pudding that I have the ingredients on hand for, and then reminded myself, this is not about that. This is not about replacing one vice for another. Agave coconut concoctions can be just as bad when overdone. When eating because we want something sweet so we don't think about what is bothering us, or feel something that hurts.
I'm big on that - not feeling things that hurt. I don't like it. I've got a strong protective streak in me, for others as well as myself. I usually guard carefully against things that hurt. Unless I'm really down, then I go into very negative thought patterns that make everything hurt worse for while. Maturity gives deliverance from that, to a certain extent.
I have some time to myself this weekend. I'm going to watch the sunset. I'm going to study the periodic table of the elements. And I'm going to walk - really, really far. I'm going to let go of some of the swirling thoughts I carry. It should be good.
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